Truths

Truth is always the way to go. Even if you know you're going to get into trouble, you'll be in less if you just tell the truth. Of course, everyone fibs from time to time. However, when it comes down to it, you need to tell the truth.

My guy friend is always telling me his friend's secret then when his best friend finds out the his secret has been leaked, my guy friend always lies about telling me and blames it on another person. It's terrible bcuz his friend actually trusts him. I try to tell his friend (who is also a friend of mine) the truth about how I found out, but he never believes me bcuz the other guy friend is his best friend. I'm sick and tired of it always turning out like this. He's always telling people things and lies to his best friend about it. Dude, it's time to stop. Be truthful to your own best friend, will you ?! He trusts you with all his heart and you always double betray him by telling his secret and then lying to him saying that you didn't. I'm pretty much sick and tired of you too. Just grow up and be a man, you idiot.

Honor yourself and let yourself be honoured.
If you respect yourself and be a good person, everyone around you will respect you.

Treasure The Little Things

<p>The most commonly used phrase, yet the most commonly ignored by actions. Everyone always says to treasure what little things you have and not ask for more, but when you actually try to treasure those little things, you realize how easily simple and trivial things are forgotten and taken for granted in our everyday lives. Things like mom making my lunch every morning or waking me up or making me oatmeal as a quick breakfast. I don't treasure these things at all. Infact, I expect them to be done every morning. It's like a routine. It happens daily and because it's always occurring, we forget what value it actually holds. Humans all act in the same nature. Perhaps that is why we can all relate to one another. My mom has started to take on night shifts for work and I have to make dinner every now and then. I alternate with my dad. The food we make is far from the exquisite rich tasting food my mom always places on the table. However, it is still food. Sometimes, when I have loads of homework and it's my night to cook, I start getting really stressed. My sisters cant cook and my dad won't be gome til 7 so the responsibility to make food and place it on the tabole weighs over my head. It is solely because of that in which I have started to treasure every moment I get to eat my mom's amazing cooking and just worry about my own thing. To be honest, having to live alone seems like such a scary thing to me now, considering how dependent I am of my parents. If not for them, I wouldn't have been able to learn about these little life lessons. They don't teach it to me directly, but in a way of dropping little pieces of knowledge and lessons for me to pick up and piece them together like a puzzle. I'm glad i'm from such a great family. I may not be able to get everything I want, but I sure get everything I need. I'm thankful for being able to be here today. Mom, dad, I want to thank you the most for always being there spiritually when I need you and thank you for always being there physically everyday by my side, taking care of me.

The trivial things we take for granted,
Is of less importance to us because we have everything we've wanted.
Nonetheless, whilst one treasures the trivial little things,
They'll find their life blossoming,
In a whole new different blessing.

Love is a funny thing.

Love, the closest thing we have to magic.
It gives you the most wonderful feeling when you're in love. However, it does not only take one form. Love exists in everything. Your love for your beloved family, your dear friends, your favorite book, or your favorite celebrity. Your love for your stuffed animals, and your love for school or your favorite food. But, the most magical form of love is the love your heart develops for another being. For another heart that will mend together with yours and beat as one.

When you're in love, you notice your crush more. For me, I notice him more than everything and everyone else. I want him to notice me too. I want him to pay attention to me. When I'm near him, I laugh louder than I normally do, I talk louder than I'm used to and I do things that will get him to notice me. But the truth is, if he ever notices me and starts to develop an interest for me. I get scared and I move away. I leave him there, by himself wondering what happened. It's a terrible thing to do. But I get scared. I'm afraid to fall in love. All the times that I've fallen for someone, the happy feelings never last long when jealousy or the feeling of never being able to be with him gets to you. That's why I'm afraid. When I like a guy, my day and emotions all belong to him whether he wants them or not. My feelings sway with him. I'm afraid to give my heart to someone who I know may shatter it all to pieces.  I should trust them, I know. I long to meet a guy who would make me want to fall head over heels for him. Someone that will make me want to give away my heart and let him depend on my happiness. When that day comes, I will look him in the eye and say: thank you. Thank you for being wonderful. Thank you for helping me want to give you something of mine so fragile that it could break with just a tiny bit of pressure. Love is all about trust and those who love the most, trusts the most. Those are the people I admire. They're not afraid to put themselves out there and fall in love. Give away something so precious that could break so easily. Those people are amazing.

When you realize you love someone, the feeling of wanting to be with them never leaves you. When you’re in school, you talk loudly so he can hear you. You laugh louder so he’ll notice you and when he walks away, you stare at the image of his back wondering “did he notice me?”

Another Experience

It's late now, but I still haven't finished homework. Procrastination sucks, but at least the homework is fun. My assignment is to create a short story and I just love writing, so it's all good.

So, another day has passed, and each day brings on a new challenge. I've just recently come to realize fully that I've lost myself down the road of growing up. I no longer have any idea who I am or what I want to be. I'm lost. I don't know whether the person I am right now is just an act or if it's the real me. I've no idea. I don't what to do either. What is there that I can do?

As everyday passes, I find more and more flaws about myself, but what's the point in doing that? It's only killing my own self-confidence. I'm beautiful the way I am. I'm beautiful no matter what anyone says. And most importantly, I'm beautiful for being myself, and not someone else. I may not be skinny, like all the other girls, but that's because I'm not the other girls. I'm me and this is also what makes me beautiful. Smile and be happy. Be true to yourself.

Treasure the little things. I love my friends and I love the kind of attention I get from people, but I'm always asking for more. Greed is what you'd call it. I need to learn how to be satisfied with what I have before I lose them. I love what I have. A family who'll always be there to silently support you, even if they've never done much to support me before, but every time something bad happens at school and I just can't say much about it to anyone, being at home and knowing that my family is there downstairs laughing watching T.V. gives me such a lovely sense of feeling. It's so warm. That's what I love about them. They may not actually be there for me, but they're always there. They may not say anything, but their presence is what says everything. There's also my friends. I love them so much too. Without them, my life would be.. so different. Different as in I wouldn't be the person I am now. When my friends are with me, I feel like I can do anything. I can shout and scream and yell and dance in public and still feel secure because I have someone to fall back on. That's what I love about them. They give me a sense of security.

It's late now, but I just want to tell the world: Hey, I love my life. I love myself no matter how short, how fat, or how ugly I may look to others. I'm me and I'm proud of myself for not letting anyone take my happiness away from me.

We are beautiful the way we are.
No matter how short, how fat, or how pretty we look,
We are all special and unique.
We are loved by people all around us,
Even when the love seems dim.
Don't let others take away your happiness,
Especially when they can't provide you with anything but pain.
We are special.
We are special because we are one of a kind.

Time Splits Everything

It's been a long while since I last saw her. She's always out now with her boyfriends and other new friends that she's made. She's happy, I get that. I'm super happy for her too. What I don't get is why it seems as though she would be more than willing to forget about me. Even after everything we've been through. I was always there for her. I've never tried to let her down and I will be honest, I haven't had much time for her for a while. However, I still do try and make time. I'd always reply to her texts in within 24 hours and I'd never just let her think that I'd leave her. She's my best friend and I love her. I'm trying to do what I can now to get her back, but it won't work if she won't make an effort. It seems like she's replaced me with her new friends and her new boyfriend. Honestly, I'm happy for her. I've never hurt her before. If anything, she was the one who's hurt me most. The times when she got jealous, she'd do something to hurt me then say sorry and cry about it. Then, the cycle will continue. I always forgive her, but I've never forgotten the times she's hurt me. I don't bring it up, but I don't understand why she can't just at least try to bring back the friendship we once had. I'm trying, so why can't she? I've been replaced, I know. That's what moving away from my comfortable hometown does. But remember one of our late night chats on the phone? On the first week that I moved away? You told me that you would never forget me, never replace me, and never ever lose me. If anything like us drifting apart happened, you'd give it your all to get what we once had back. Look at us now. Doesn't seem like you're doing your part well.

Time may mend things,

And time can break things.

Only those who survives what father time brings

Can truly say that they've worked to their very beings.

The other half, the other side.

Everybody has a side to them that they can't show to people who aren't family. I know I do. It's that side, that other half of you that you're afraid to show cause the people you love and you know might leave you. I have have a side of me that I'm afraid to show. It's so terrible that I've spent years building a barrier trying to force it deep down my body so it can't ever surface, but now, I'm starting to lose that barrier. I don't know what happened. I've changed so much. I'm being more.. me. The whole me, that is. I used to only be half of me, the other half that I want people to know. The other half that I know they won't hate. But everything's starting to fall apart. At least, the barrier is. It happened ever since I moved. The new school, the people, they make me feel so.. different. They bring out the other side of me. It's so weird and so complicated. They make me feel comfortable.. like I don't have to hide my other half, but that's the bad part. I have to hide it. If I don't and I show it, everyone would leave me and hate me. The other side of me, the other half of my personality. It's so terrible that even I'm afraid of it. The people here in my new town and new school, their making the barrier in me break down. It's starting to get worse. The other terrible side of me has already shown so much. I'm so different from who I was for that past years that I've lived. I don't like the new me... or should I say, I don't like the whole me..

Thinking about it, it's like I'm hiding behind a mask, as my friend had told me when I talked to him. He said if I don't show the whole me, it's like hiding behind a mask. Well, I kind of changed the wording around, but he meant it like that. He's right and I know it. But admitting to it is really hard. It's so easy to say it, but to have admit it with my brain and heart makes it so complicated. I wanna be able to show the whole me, but I'm afraid of the result. I want the people I know and love still stay by my side, but I'm afraid to try it. In a way, I'm giving up because I'm afraid of failing. That makes me pathetic, I know. But I'm afraid that once I do show the whole me, everyone will walk away from me, hating me and I won't be able to take it since I'll be alone. I'm anything far from being independent. Being by myself makes me feel alone and my self-confidence level goes down so low. And what if when it happens, when everyone is gone because of my other half and I can't fix it? What if that happens? That's what I'm afraid. 

Right now, there is not one person who have fully witnessed the whole me other than my family. My best friend have only witnessed a bit of that side. I still hold everything back when I'm with her. I want to show her my whole self, but I'm also afraid. Even when she says she won't leave me and that I can trust her, I'm still afraid. I trust her with everything, yes, just I can't trust myself to show her the whole me. I'm afraid I might hurt her so much that she'd never want to hear from me again. I want her to see me as a whole, but I'm not able to make that happen. I've tried, but I've always held that side back from her. I show everything else to her openly, I tell her everything else too, but why? Why is it only just that other side that stops me from showing her the whole me. I don't know. All I know is that I'm afraid. I'm terrified of showing that other half to anyone other than my family.




And for today's post, I'll end it with this:


Everyone has that side,
That one side that they can't let slide.
No matter how much we want to show it,
No matter how much we want to express it,
The results that will break our heart comes out and suppresses us.
Then in the end,
We keep all those feelings deep in our heart,
Where we know it will never resurface.

The night sky

Homework can be so tiring when you have so much. Especially when you get them today and it's immediately due tmr, but, in a way, it's much better than just sitting there doing nothing [x
So eventually, I got distracted. As I stared out the window (which I had forgotten to close my curtains over) I was breath-taken. What I saw was so beautiful. The night sky was so clear tonight that the stars were able to shine so brightly and amazingly. It was as if they were dancing together in the night sky. It's been so long since I've been able to see such a clear night sky like the one I saw tonight :) Then, I felt like getting cheesy and made a poem xD


So for today's saying (or in this case, poem):


A thousand wishes, a million stars,
High up in the sky, waiting on me to gaze at mars.
"Make a wish!" they'd whisper to me, softly in the ear,
And up at the night sky I'd look as I started my wish:
"Starlight star bright, the first star I see tonight..."